Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
