Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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