ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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