ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
