I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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