Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
