Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize