ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize