it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
