There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
