so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
