If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Can i not drive my cunt home
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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