No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
