I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize