am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
