proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
