my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
