4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
