Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just pynch a tree in the face
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
