just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
