Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
