Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
