11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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