The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
As shirtless as possible
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
