she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
