I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
