look no pants
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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