Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
