Dual....:-)
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
These tits shall not be calmed
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