Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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