after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
