she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have post one night stand depression
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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