Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
