I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
