We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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