i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
