WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize