thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
