with your own penis?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
