in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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