OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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