id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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