playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
