i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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