writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
