it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
