Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
