i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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