I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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