So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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