Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
