On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
