My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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