Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
