so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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