Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
