I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
