I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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